CHRISTMAS MOURNING

FR. TERRY RYAN, CSP
Matthew 11: 2-11
December 16, 2007

When it came to Christmas gift-giving my mother did not ask the question: “What will they think of me?” She gave me what I needed and some of what I wanted. I wanted toys as a boy. She gave me some toys, but also clothes: underwear, socks, shirts and pants. When I opened a gift of clothes, I acted as if I was happy. I forced a smile and said, "thank you." I saved the cards of anyone who gave me a gift, so I could say a thank you to them if they were not there when I opened their present to me. But when I opened a gift that was a toy, then I was truly excited and happy. I got what I wanted.

It turned out that the clothes were a lot more valuable and needed then the toys. I would play with the toy for a while, break it or get tired of it and it would be stored somewhere only to be thrown out or put up into a garage sale years later when my parents moved out of the house. The clothes I wore time and time again until they wore out or I outgrew them. If they were still useful then we gave them to someone else to wear. The clothes I needed. The toys I wanted, at that time.

Jesus was like my Mom. When he came into the world he did not worry about what people would think of him if he did not live up to their expectations or their wants. He gave them what they needed. John the Baptist had been looking for some kind of political, military Messiah who would overthrow the Roman conquerors and free the people. Jesus was not quite what he had expected, so he made inquiries. Jesus catches us a little off guard when we focus on our expectations and wants.

Jesus is a gift in our lives. What are we expecting in God's gift? It being Christmas, do we expect to be happy and joyous in keeping with the advertising of the season? What if we have lost something or someone precious during this past year? What if this is our first Christmas without a loved one with whom we had shared so many previous Christmases? What if this is a Christmas when we are unemployed due to job loss, or ill due to health loss? Maybe the gift God sends us is the gift of mourning. Blessed are those who mourn, says the Beatitude. The gift would be one of grieving a loss. At Christmas especially, we grieve our losses. To try and avoid, ignore, or cover up grief at this time would be to deny the gift of God's presence in the grief. It would be to deny our reality now at this time.

To be sad at Christmas is to be counter to the culture of commercial Christmas. You might feel that you are crazy for not being happy, when in fact you are simply living the truth of loss in your life. God became human to share not only our joy, but also our suffering and loss. Next Christmas may be different. We only have to live this one for now. Let it be an honest one. Rejoice. God is with you just as you are.